Gaza to Dublin: A journey through war, displacement, hope

Dublin, Ireland – When I was accepted to Trinity College Dublin, I imagined a caller start, caller lectures, late-night survey sessions and a field live with possibility.

The program was clear: statesman my studies successful September 2024 and yet measurement into the aboriginal I had worked truthful hard for.

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But erstwhile September came, the borders of Gaza were unopen tight, my neighbourhood was being bombed astir each day, and the imagination of assemblage collapsed with the buildings astir me. Trinity sent maine a deferral letter, and I retrieve holding it successful my hands and feeling torn successful two.

I didn’t cognize whether to consciousness relieved oregon heartbroken. That missive became a unusual awesome of hope, a reminder that maybe, someday, my beingness could continue. But everything other was falling isolated truthful rapidly that it was hard to judge successful anything.

My household and I were displaced 5 times arsenic the warfare intensified. Each time, we near thing behind: books, clothes, memories, safety.

After the archetypal impermanent truce, we went location for a abbreviated time. But it nary longer felt similar the spot we had built our lives. The walls were cracked, windows shattered, and floors coated successful particulate and debris.

It felt haunted by what had happened.

I knew I had to go

I’m the mediate kid among 3 siblings. My older sister, Razan, is 25, and my younger brother, Fadel, is 23.

You mightiness deliberation being a mediate kid spares you, but during the war, I felt liable for them. On nights erstwhile bombings shook the gathering and fearfulness crept into each corner, I tried to beryllium the dependable one. I tried to comfortableness them arsenic I trembled inside.

Then, successful April 2025, my sanction appeared connected a small, restricted database of radical allowed to permission Gaza. About 130 radical could transverse astatine that time, dual-nationality holders, household reunification cases and a fistful of others. My sanction connected that database felt unreal.

The greeting I approached the crossing, I retrieve the long, tense enactment of radical waiting, gripping documents, holding bags, clutching their children’s hands. No 1 talked.

When 2 IDF officers questioned me, I answered arsenic steadily arsenic I could, acrophobic that something, anything, mightiness spell incorrect and they’d nonstop maine back.

When they yet waved maine through, I felt alleviation and guilt astatine the aforesaid time.

I didn’t telephone location until I got to Jordan. When my parent heard my voice, she cried. I did, too. I told her I was safe, but it felt similar I had near a portion of my bosom down with them.

Alagha had to permission her mobile telephone down successful Gaza; this is 1 of the fewer photos she inactive has, of her parent embracing her connected her graduation time successful Gaza [Courtesy of Rawand Alagha]

My household is present successful Khan Younis, inactive surviving done the chaos.

I arrived successful Amman connected April 18, my bosom dense with the value of what I had escaped. The adjacent morning, I boarded a formation to Istanbul, with thing astir maine feeling real.

The sounds of normalcy, laughter, announcements, and the rustle of bags were jarring aft the changeless bombardment. I had been surviving successful a satellite wherever each dependable could awesome danger, wherever the aerial was heavy with fearfulness and uncertainty.

I felt similar a ghost, wandering done a satellite that nary longer belonged to me.

Finally, aft hours of flying, waiting, being screened and watching departure boards, I landed successful Dublin. The Irish aerial felt clean, the entity impossibly open. I should’ve been happy, but I was engulfed by crushing guilt, the joyousness overshadowed by the symptom of separation.

I wasn’t wholly alone. A Palestinian workfellow from Gaza had arrived successful April 2024, and 2 friends were besides successful Ireland. There was an unspoken knowing betwixt us.

“You recognise the trauma successful each different without saying a word,” I often archer radical now. “It’s successful the mode we listen, the mode we sit, the mode we transportation ourselves.”

Back successful Gaza, my regular beingness had shrunk to axenic survival: running, hiding, rationing water, checking who was alive. Bombings deed each day, and nighttime was the worst. Darkness makes each dependable consciousness closer, sharper.

You don’t slumber during war. You wait.

Those nights, the soundlessness was deafening, punctuated by the distant echoes of explosions. I would prevarication awake, straining to perceive danger.

The acheronian wrapped maine similar a suffocating blanket, amplifying each creak of the building, each susurration of the wind.

During the day, radical connected the thoroughfare moved quickly, eyes darting, alert.

Water was a precious commodity; we would enactment up for hours astatine organisation points, often lone to person a fraction of what we needed. It was ne'er enough.

No quality should unrecorded similar that

Five times, we fled successful hunt of safety, packed successful minutes, hearts racing with fear.

In 1 gathering wherever dozens of displaced families stayed, radical slept connected bladed mattresses, enarthrosis to shoulder. Children cried quietly, adults whispered, trying to comfortableness 1 another, but each detonation extracurricular sent ripples of panic done the rooms.

No quality being should person to unrecorded similar that, but millions of america did.

As I beryllium successful Dublin, I transportation the value of my family’s struggles with me, a changeless reminder of the beingness I near behind.

The guilt of endurance is simply a dense burden, but I clasp onto anticipation that 1 day, I tin instrumentality and assistance rebuild what has been lost.

Even now, acold from Gaza, I consciousness it. You don’t permission warfare behind; you transportation it with you similar a 2nd heartbeat.

A store astatine the University of Dublin welcoming the Palestinian students [Courtesy of Rawand Alagha]

Watching a satellite I’m not portion of yet

I often halt successful the field courtyards. Not conscionable due to the fact that they’re beautiful, though they are, but due to the fact that I request those moments to punctual myself that I survived.

The laughter of children present feels foreign, a reminder of joyousness that has been stolen from truthful many.

Walking done Trinity College contiguous feels surreal. Students laughter implicit coffee, unreserved to lectures and kick astir assignments. Life moves truthful seamlessly here.

I connection my household each day. Some days, they reply quickly. Other days, hours walk with nary response. Those soundless days consciousness similar torture.

But I’m determined. Being present is astir rebuilding a life, astir honouring the radical I near behind.

Survival comes with weight.

I transportation the dreams of those who couldn’t leave. That work shapes the mode I determination done the world; quieter, much grateful, much aware.

I anticipation someday I tin bring my household to safety. I anticipation to decorativeness my studies, rebuild my beingness and usage my dependable for radical inactive trapped successful war.

I privation radical to cognize what it takes to basal successful that enactment astatine the border, to permission everything behind, to locomotion into a aboriginal alone.