In Gaza City, we are saying goodbye

To those who inactive care, this whitethorn beryllium the past missive I write from Gaza City.

We are expecting Israel to officially contented its “evacuation orders” immoderate clip now. My beloved city, Gaza, stands connected the brink of a afloat subject concern by the Israeli army. Their program is to unit america each to permission our homes and determination into tents successful the confederate portion of the Strip. We bash not cognize what volition hap to those who resist. We whitethorn beryllium surviving our past days successful Gaza City.

Since the opening of the war, we person heard that Israel wants to inhabit our metropolis and instrumentality it arsenic a colony country for its people. At first, we didn’t judge it; we thought this benignant of quality was intelligence warfare. After all, we person had “evacuation orders” earlier and radical were capable to return, adjacent if it was to the ruins of their homes.

On October 13, soon aft the genocide started, the Israeli service told everyone successful bluish Gaza, including Gaza City, to determination south. The orders were accompanied by relentless bombardment. Hundreds would sometimes dice successful a day. Hundreds of thousands of radical fled southbound for their lives.

We didn’t. My begetter refused to permission our home, truthful we each stayed. We lived successful our location for months successful unbearable symptom and fear. We witnessed the demolition of our neighbourhood with our eyes.

Then the Israeli service chopped disconnected the northbound from the south. Aid could not scope the north. From January to April 2024, my household and I lived the astir suffocating days of the war. We were starved; we spent our days searching for thing to easiness our hunger. Sometimes, we were forced to devour carnal feed.

In January this year, erstwhile a ceasefire took effect, radical were allowed to spell backmost to the north. It was an affectional infinitesimal that reflected conscionable however overmuch we, Palestinians, are attached to our land.

This time, the ambiance feels different. It feels that the menace of imperishable occupation, of imperishable loss, is precise real.

“In mentation for the transportation of civilians from the warfare portion to the southbound … a ample fig of tents and structure instrumentality volition beryllium allowed to participate [Gaza]”, Israeli service spokesperson Avichay Adraee posted connected Facebook.

People crossed Gaza work this quality with a dense heart. There are galore questions and fewer answers: Where volition we flee? When volition this start? Will anyone intervene and halt this catastrophe?

People are overwhelmed – emotionally, mentally, physically, financially; they cannot endure immoderate much suffering.

Since my household and I heard this announcement, we person been looking astatine each different with confused, fearful eyes.

When I saw images connected societal media of tents and tarpaulins entering Gaza City, my bosom broke into a cardinal pieces. The thought of my aboriginal being stuffed into a structure terrified me. My dreams are big; however tin I acceptable them into a tiny tent?

I told my begetter I don’t privation to unrecorded successful a tent. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. He looked astatine maine with helplessness successful his eyes and said, “We bash not person different choice, the structure is becoming our caller reality.”

We bash not privation to leave, but we consciousness we bash not person a choice. We bash not deliberation we tin endure the relentless bombardment and shelling erstwhile again. The Israelis volition apt beryllium adjacent much brutal erstwhile they invade this time. It volition not beryllium punishment this time; it volition beryllium full erasure.

Feeling the extremity of their metropolis is coming, radical are spending what they fearfulness whitethorn beryllium their past days successful it with their families, having their azygous repast for the day, together. They are walking astir their neighbourhoods, taking pictures of themselves with the places tied to their puerility memories, capturing everything that mightiness beryllium erased.

I constitute these words, sitting successful a shared workspace wherever galore students and writers are trying to combat the fearfulness of what is to travel by studying and working. They are hanging connected to their enactment routines, hoping for immoderate normalcy amid the terrifying chaos.

People successful Gaza emotion life, adjacent erstwhile beingness means surviving by the bare minimum. Even successful the darkest moments, we ever find a mode to person hope, joy, and happiness.

I privation to person hope, but I americium besides terrified – not lone of the bombs, of forced displacement, of tents and exile. I americium terrified of being chopped disconnected from the world, of being silenced.

I consciousness similar what Israel is preparing for america successful the southbound is simply a attraction campy wherever we volition beryllium chopped disconnected from the world, our voices muffled, our beingness erased.

I bash not cognize however overmuch longer my words volition scope the extracurricular world, truthful I privation to instrumentality this accidental to marque an appeal.

Do not hide me, Sara Awad, a Palestinian student, whose biggest imagination is to decorativeness her grade successful English lit and go a nonrecreational journalist.

Do not hide the radical of Gaza and their 2 cardinal stories of love, heartbreak and perseverance.

Do not hide my city, Gaza – an past metropolis, afloat of past and culture, afloat of love.

Do not hide however fiercely we resisted and held connected to our homes and land, adjacent erstwhile the satellite each but abandoned us.

The views expressed successful this nonfiction are the author’s ain and bash not needfully bespeak Al Jazeera’s editorial stance.