In search of Sweden’s lost empathy

We should person travel retired of the vacation play successful Sweden jolly, rested and acceptable for a blessed caller year. But we didn’t. We should person finished the erstwhile twelvemonth with a consciousness of emotion and togetherness. But we didn’t. Everything atrocious has reached caller levels and whitethorn good spell adjacent further.

We finished 2025, a twelvemonth afloat of racism, anti-Semitism and Islamophobia, with the right-wing Sweden Democrats inactive dominating the governmental discourse, Greta Thunberg being maligned for her governmental activism, and the authorities cutting 10 cardinal kronor ($1.09bn) successful improvement aid.

Just successful clip for the holidays, a Quran with slug holes was hung connected the Central Mosque’s obstruction successful Stockholm, portion an Iranian mates – some adjunct nurses who had worked for a decennary successful Swedish hospitals – and their children were slated for deportation to Tehran.

In the caller year, we are facing an predetermination wherever the toxic governmental rhetoric astir expelling criminals and others who bash not “behave” and “adapt” volition apt find the outcome.

What comes adjacent successful Sweden profoundly worries me.

As a Bosnian Swede, I privation some my countries to beryllium the champion they tin be. I privation them to beryllium large again, to usage this charged phrase, due to the fact that I bash not deliberation they are that large now. Yes, I look astatine some with immoderate nostalgia due to the fact that I retrieve what they were successful antithetic periods of my life.

I privation Bosnia to beryllium escaped from the nationalist poison and beryllium a due antiauthoritarian authorities similar Sweden. I privation Sweden to regain its tone of empathy that erstwhile upon a clip made it judge thousands of america Bosnians during its worst economical crisis. Sweden did precise well, and we Bosnians are said to beryllium the best-integrated and astir palmy minority.

Today, we nary longer person radical similar the Swedish clergyman who jumped connected a level and delivered assistance astatine Sarajevo airdrome during the convulsive siege of the Bosnian capital.

Land, unload, escape. A speedy successful and retired amid shelling. I cannot ideate anyone taking specified a hazard today.

What is worse, we person developed a absorption to empathy, and we look upon anyone who tries to marque a quality arsenic a weird outlier.

Back then, countries refused to support the Bosnians and fto america support ourselves. Nowadays, they assistance perpetrators.

I retrieve a antithetic Sweden.

During the archetypal 2 years of the war, I met a comic publication collector successful Banja Luka whose girl had escaped to Sweden. He showed maine a missive she sent him done the Red Cross. It was wintertime, and she was describing this spot called Vargarda arsenic a pristine Nordic landscape, truthful beauteous and innocent.

It would beryllium my destiny to travel to the aforesaid exile campy successful 1993. I was excited – I was going to a spot wherever I knew determination would beryllium a batch of comic books.

Shortly aft our arrival, we were transferred to this subject gathering successful Uddevalla, wherever it felt similar the changeless upwind blew consecutive done my mind. We were closed disconnected but had immoderate interaction with Swedish high-school students. I tried to larn Swedish, but since we didn’t cognize if we’d stay, we had nary Swedish classes yet.

I didn’t acquisition overmuch Swedishness successful the camp. It was conscionable america Bosnians with PTSD, a premix of radical from each parts of Bosnia, and it felt similar we were from antithetic cultures entirely. Same people, full strangers.

I had cousins – besides refugees – who were stationed successful Trollhattan. One wintertime day, earlier a transportation to Mullsjo, I decided to sojourn them. It snowed a lot, and the lone shoes I had were fake Converse sneakers with holes successful the soles. I arrived successful this cosy small municipality with an code successful hand. It turned retired to beryllium a P O Box. Boy, did I consciousness similar a anserine small exile mislaid successful the beauteous streets of Trollhattan.

I was cold, truthful I went into a grounds store. The spot smelled amazing. The astir exotic odor I’d ever smelled. I didn’t expect that successful Sweden. In Bosnia, we’re not precisely celebrated for exotic spices. We similar things plain and simple. It was successful Sweden I’d larn astir the world.

The antheral who worked successful the store saw I was acold and gave maine mulled vino with Christmas spices, which I’d aboriginal larn was called glogg. It was blistery and strong, and it blew my mind. This is the Proustian infinitesimal I volition astir apt retrieve until I die. I couldn’t talk immoderate Swedish, but someway I communicated that I was looking for the exile camp. The antheral showed maine wherever to go.

I recovered the buildings and saw immoderate Bosnians who told maine however to find my cousins. They had already started integrating, astir apt due to the fact that they were less and lived person to the Swedes.

During my stay, my relative made tiny cinnamon buns, which she froze. Her girl and I would bargain those and devour them frozen, portion watching Married…with Children connected Swedish TV. In a fewer days, I fell successful emotion with glogg and cinnamon buns.

In the exile campy successful Mullsjo, successful the Swedish Bible belt, I trained judo successful a section club, the euphony of Nordman blasting successful the background. Small place, bully people, with immoderate modular prejudice astir Muslims, but inactive driven by a consciousness of decency. I was ever taken attraction of.

There was 1 Swedish feline who worked successful the campy who was ever looking for atrocious things to accidental astir us. Once, erstwhile I complained astir an energy measure being excessively high, the feline said we immigrants were conscionable utilizing the strategy and should larn to respect the law. Go figure.

People similar him were fewer backmost then. Now determination are truthful many. Companies that did not privation to springiness america jobs due to the fact that we didn’t talk Swedish good were besides fewer backmost then. Now determination are many.

In my twenties, I moved to Stockholm, got married, and started moving arsenic a carer for an aged Swedish antheral successful a wheelchair. I was adjacent to him for 11 years. He taught maine however to person compassion and empathy and however to adore the saccharine buns called “semlor”.

I respect the National Semla Day due to the fact that of him. I developed a bully narration with his sister, whom we would often conscionable astatine IKEA for play breakfasts.

Eventually, meal astatine IKEA each Saturday became a contented for my family, too. It was a spot wherever you could spot each kinds of radical waiting impatiently extracurricular for it to unfastened truthful they could tally successful and drawback a inexpensive breakfast: Two buns, immoderate slices of cucumber, chickenhearted breast, and cheese, and of course, unlimited coffee. That was the champion java successful town.

After a fewer months, we got to cognize the faces of galore regulars, similar the aged Greek mates who were someway ever archetypal successful line, and if they were not, they were not happy. Or the aged Arab who’d ever beryllium unsocial by the model facing the motorway. Or each the young Swedish couples who’d explicate things to their tiny children mode excessively loudly.

With time, meal astatine IKEA started to change. It gradually turned into a brunch – a immense feast – but past they got stingier, and determination was little connected offer. Prices went up conscionable arsenic our kids grew.

At immoderate point, meal astatine IKEA mislaid the consciousness of what it was expected to be. It mislaid its individuality successful trying to beryllium commercial; it was nary longer astir the diverseness of families it attracted. And somehow, we mislaid that tradition.

I emotion change. And I hatred it. Like everyone, I suppose. I emotion the information that Sweden has travel to connection a overmuch richer culture, and I hatred that it has grown progressively colder towards “the other”. People similar Greta present basal retired and origin wonder.

I agelong for that glogg I tasted arsenic a young exile conscionable arsenic overmuch arsenic I agelong for those beardown hearts and minds similar that clergyman who delivered goods to Muslims nether fire.

Maybe by the clip I person grandchildren, things volition change. I volition spell backmost to our household contented of meal IKEA, 1 that volition beryllium richer and yet precise overmuch the aforesaid old, aforesaid old.

The views expressed successful this nonfiction are the author’s ain and bash not needfully bespeak Al Jazeera’s editorial stance.